On dance, feelings and choice

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"Do you dance with everyone, or only with your friends?"
It's not the first time I hear this question. And it's not even about the "black or white" fallacy of the question itself, but about the important subject, at which the answer is hinting.

Since I began dancing tango, I've learned how to really feel. I've stopped avoiding certain emotions, which are generally considered unwanted – emotions like shame and rage. I've learned to express the entire palette of my emotions in dance – good thing that the diversity of moods in tango music allows us to feel everything from laughter and love to loathing. I've learned to feel my dance partner; to understand her without words is a priceless skill.

Our world tries its hardest to dissuade us from being guided by our feelings. Emotions and feelings are often contraposed with logic and reasoning and portrayed as superfluous and irrational. The goal of an advertisement, for example, is to prompt someone to make a decision based on emotions that were prepared for him by the marketing team.
"Your emotions are your personal guidance system."
– Abraham Hicks
Our world tries its hardest to dissuade us from being guided by our feelings.
Being guided by one's feelings doesn't mean going to extremes, throwing fits and being a slave to one's emotions – on the contrary, this behavior means that the person doesn't understand his emotions. Being guided by my feelings means choosing my behavior consciously, based on what I'm feeling right now.

Choice plays an important role in tango: my choice of where to hang out and whom to talk to, my choice of whom to invite for this tanda, my choice of movement in dance in this particular moment. We're actually making a choice every instant of our lives – Existentialism supposes that everything is a choice – it's just that most of the time we're making this choice unconsciously.
My goal is to make conscious choices based on my feelings at any point in time.
This allows me to be in the moment, to be here and now. Choice, based on personal feelings, is a cornerstone of authenticity, and that's exactly what I'm looking for.

Do I dance with everyone, or only with my friends? I can tell you how I choose which partner to invite – I pay close attentions to my feelings.
This allows me to be in the moment, to be here and now.
Author: Aleksey Vays. Opinions expressed in articles within this blog may not coincide with those of the editor.
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